Comedy Sub Forum?

[boricuamaximus]

Any chance that we can get one just for jokes. We have a lot of good jokes on here just kinda hard to find them at times.

 

[Bullfrog]

+1, and I humbly suggest it be locked like the water cooler, for registered users only.

 

[marko]

So a young cowboy walks into the bar/diner. Sits next to an old cowboy, who is hanging his head over his bowl of chili. Young guy is hungry, no waitress appears... so he askes the old guy - "Hey, if you aren't gonna eat that, mind if I chow down?" "Sure, pardner, go ahead" and the old guy pushes the bowl towards the buck. The young guy starts chowing down, eating furiously, and gets to the bottom of the bowl...where he finds a DEAD MOUSE!!!!! and pukes up the chili back into the bowl. Old guy says : "Yup, that's about as far as I got, too" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gamer_jim]

Would we move all the Maryland 2nd Amendment stuff there?

 

[boricuamaximus]

Would we move all the Maryland 2nd Amendment stuff there?

That would require and Oxymoron subforum.

 

[The3clipser]

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller?
Neither did she!

 

[rifelman]

So a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks Why the long face?

 

[X-Factor]

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller?
Neither did she!

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was RRRrhNA!!!

 

[rifelman]

X-Factor, I just spit Diet Mountain Dew all over the key board. Good think it's not sticky !!!

 

[hvymax]

The West Virginia Law of Relativity: You can marry your cousin. But your sister has got to be commonlaw

 

[Nobody]

2 pieces of bacon and 2 eggs wak into a bar and the bartender says, "I am soory, we do not serve breakfast in here"

NOBODY

 

[carryaglock]

A West Virginian hitchhiker was picked up by a guy in a big Lincoln Continental. The West Virginian noticed a bunch of golf tees on the front seat and asked, "What's those things fer?" The driver said, "They're to hold my balls while I drive." "Boy," exclaimed the West Virginian, "these here Lincoln Continentals have everything, ain't they?"

 

[boricuamaximus]

Confucius Says Jokes

Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.

Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.

Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.

State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.

He who buries a man's wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.

He who plays with self, pulls boner.

Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.

House without toilet is uncanny.

Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.

Man's wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.

Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.

Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.

Man who plays with self pulls boner.

Man who take sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep sh*t.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.

Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

Man who suck woman's tit make clean breast of things.

Man who walk in middle of road get run over by bus.

Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed.

Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.

Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.

Man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.

Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

Don't sweat the petty stuff ... and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.

Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy.

 

[Adams74Chevy]

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

 

[bigjohn]

man who goes thru subway turn style sideways, going to bangcock
man who cooks carrots and pees in the same pot, not very sanitary

 

[The3clipser]

Man who walk in front of car soon become tired. Man who walk behind car soon become exhausted.

 

[Half-cocked]

Two hydrogen atoms are sitting at a bar. One says, "Oh crap, I think I lost my electron!" The other says, "Are you sure?" First one responds "Yeah, I'm positive!"

 

[jonnyl]

A baby seal walked into a bar.

Bartender: Whaddya have.
Baby Seal: Anything but a Canadian Club!

 

[Jim Sr]

A blonde was worried that the Mechanic might try to rip her off was relieved when he told her all she needed was turn signal fluid.

 

[Bonanza]

A penguin was driving down the road and his car started to smoke.
He pulled into a garage and ask if a mechanic could look at it.
The lady behind the counter said it would be about 30 minutes.
So the penguin walked to the diner for a cup of vanilla ice cream, he couldnt hold the spoon so he gobbled it down with his flippers, making quite a mess.
When he was done he walked back to the garage where he saw the mechanic with his head under the hood and asked hows it going.
The mechanic said; Looks like you blew a seal.
The penguin huffed, NO! Its just ice cream!