Library Guy
Library Marksmanship Unit
How to cancel the Sun:
Call the Sun at 1 888 539 1280
Press 1 for the Sun (not 2 for TV Weekly)
Listen to various options having to do with missing or wet papers and vacation stops then press 0 to speak to a CSR
Listen to the phone ring; transfer to static (Don’t hang up! If you do, start over at step #1); Listen to more ringing; transfer to music alternating with static.
Wait.
Then Joan answers and wants your Home Phone Number. She does not want your account number. She wants your Home Address. She does not need the account number. Could you give the Last Name on the Account? How about spelling that name? Now Joan is ready to help. Help, Joan, help.
Tell Joan you wish to cancel the subscription to the Sun. Listen to Joan make disappointed squeaks.
Joan will ask why you wish to cancel. You could say, “Gun grabbing liberals.” Or “Dan Rodricks hasn’t had an original thought in fifteen years.” Or “I don’t care about Susan Reimer’s ovaries.”
Say, “Editorial policy.”
Joan will not hear this. Instead she will note that the cost has recently gone up 50¢ a week and will offer to continue the subscription at the old price.
Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.”
Joan will offer you Wednesday, Friday, and weekend delivery.
Don't give in to this temptress. Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.”
Joan will offer you Wednesday and weekend delivery at-
Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.” (Resist the urge to ask if there is a crossword/jumble/Sudoku only option)
Joan will suggest weekend only-
Don’t hang up on Joan she has script to follow. Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.”
Joan will tell you about a digital subscription for-
Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.” (Really, don’t hang up now because you’re almost there.)
Joan will flip to the last page of her script and tell you how the Sun values all customers and will insist that you have a great day.
Say, “Gun grabbing liberal!” and hang up. You’ve just saved yourself over $200 a year.
Call the Sun at 1 888 539 1280
Press 1 for the Sun (not 2 for TV Weekly)
Listen to various options having to do with missing or wet papers and vacation stops then press 0 to speak to a CSR
Listen to the phone ring; transfer to static (Don’t hang up! If you do, start over at step #1); Listen to more ringing; transfer to music alternating with static.
Wait.
Then Joan answers and wants your Home Phone Number. She does not want your account number. She wants your Home Address. She does not need the account number. Could you give the Last Name on the Account? How about spelling that name? Now Joan is ready to help. Help, Joan, help.
Tell Joan you wish to cancel the subscription to the Sun. Listen to Joan make disappointed squeaks.
Joan will ask why you wish to cancel. You could say, “Gun grabbing liberals.” Or “Dan Rodricks hasn’t had an original thought in fifteen years.” Or “I don’t care about Susan Reimer’s ovaries.”
Say, “Editorial policy.”
Joan will not hear this. Instead she will note that the cost has recently gone up 50¢ a week and will offer to continue the subscription at the old price.
Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.”
Joan will offer you Wednesday, Friday, and weekend delivery.
Don't give in to this temptress. Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.”
Joan will offer you Wednesday and weekend delivery at-
Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.” (Resist the urge to ask if there is a crossword/jumble/Sudoku only option)
Joan will suggest weekend only-
Don’t hang up on Joan she has script to follow. Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.”
Joan will tell you about a digital subscription for-
Say, “Please, cancel my subscription.” (Really, don’t hang up now because you’re almost there.)
Joan will flip to the last page of her script and tell you how the Sun values all customers and will insist that you have a great day.
Say, “Gun grabbing liberal!” and hang up. You’ve just saved yourself over $200 a year.
